Chapter 1

Robin Lemus Ulrich, oh what a name, thank god as of 10 am this morning I officially never had to go by it again. I kicked my feet in the warm sand while dancing around for just a few seconds. Finally I was free of that curse of a life, Robin Sherilyn Lemus. "Yep that’s me." I smiled and finished out loud before I gracefully plopped myself down in the sand.

As soon as I woke up I looked over at the nightstand to see the photo of my little girl from last Christmas. She was so happy opening up all her presents with mommy and daddy. But this year was the exact opposite, Dot had decided that I hadn't been around enough lately and filed for divorce. "Fourteen years in a damn relationship and she just ends it."

Stretching up I softly tilted my head to the right, then the left, the stretch felt amazing. The stress of living with Loyd had taken its toll. The pure relief that he was finally gone was starting to let itself be known as the sore muscles finally released their tension. Wrapping my long waist length auburn hair into a bun I grabbed my book from my bag and lay down. The bastard won the largest battle, he has our little girl, he had Emilie, his damn family had thousands of dollars and they bought the judge. I'm not thinking about it, I'm just not, she's safe, Emilie is with her daddy and he'd never hurt her, so she was safe and it’s my time to heal. Then I'll fight like hell to get her back.

Damn I miss my little girl, that's all I could I think while walking around the luxury suite that over looked the ocean. I had everything and blew it in just a matter of months. The fact that my ex has my little girl breaks my heart but at least I know she's taken care of. "Taken care of without me." As I looked out of the window I watched a couple of people walking around.

"At least it's not crowded so I can go get a little peace and quiet I guess."

I pulled my walkman out of my bag, thank god for music, it’s what got me through the last 4 years. Walking away took guts, that I knew, fighting him for visitation was cruel. It’s not like Emilie really knew him, he was always gone and when he wasn't he had his laptop open. I know I have to let it go but damn this all was festering right now. "I need a new life."

After putting on swimming trunks and a t-shirt I grabbed the beach towel from my back then headed out the door. If I was going to be miserable I might as well be out on the beach. Putting on my sunglasses and hat I stepped off the elevator then walked through the lobby which luckily was empty at the moment. I really didn’t care if it stayed that way or not because the less people that are here, the less I get bothered.

I stretched my neck again, there's one spot I just can't seem to get to unwind, this doesn't surprise me though I'm always tense in the shoulders and neck I just need to calm down, maybe a swim will help. I dropped my book and walk man and stood up, turning to walk into that beautiful calming refreshing ocean. Too bad I walked directly into a brick wall, one that smelled pretty good but a brick wall none the less. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize I wasn't paying any attention to where I was going." He stepped to the side letting her walk by.

"Want to jump in the ocean with me, then we can wash the experience away and start over."

"If only it were that easy." he sighed dropping his things down on the ground a few feet away from hers.

"We can make it that easy. Complicated sucks."

"Yeah no kidding." I couldn't help but smile at her but not before looking around making sure her boyfriend or husband wouldn't come from around a corner and beat the daylights out of me.

"The surf won't wait meet me out there if you'd like." I smiled to him before turning to run towards the water. With my hair still in a bun he could see my body easily, I knew that but I also knew I was skinny, almost too skinny but Loyd bitched if I gained an ounce so I'd gotten very good at staying small and not eating much. Hopefully the scars weren't very visible to the unknowing eye and I could only hope."
When she got in the water I got down onto my knees long enough to spread out my towel then strip of the tshirt which instantly exposed the tattoos. Damn I hope she's not a fan or some kind of trap that Dot set for me.

With the sand under my feet I walked slowly down to the water where I waded until the water was around my waist.

I popped up out of the water and looked directly at him. My hair falling all over because the bun had come undone. "Hi."

He looked at her nodding his head slightly as he stepped back until the water was
flowing over his shoulders. "Nice place to escape to huh?"

"Peaceful and calm it truly works for me." I smiled to him. "I'm Robin by the way."

"Nice to me you - I'm Jon."

"I knew that." I smiled to him. "But you're secrets' safe with me."

"Thanks." I smiled back at her instantly hating the fact that everybody knew who I was. There was no way for me to be normal anymore.

"So what gave it away? Are you a fan or did you just recognize the tattoos?"

"A little of both but honestly Jon I'd have to have lived on another planet for the past 15 yrs to not know something about you. Thats gotta suck huh?"

"You have no idea."

I dunked down in the water and came back up after the wave passed. "At least when I want to escape I really can."

"Consider yourself lucky. I'd give anything not be in the spot I'm in right now." I quickly moved under the water when I saw a wave coming the swam over so that I was beside her.

"You know for it not being horribly hot its actually nice in the water."

"Maybe somebody peed in it before you got in here." I laughed jumping up as another
wave passed.

"You're a brat that’s just sick. Sounds like you have a son." I jumped up over the next wave.

"Actually I have a little girl."

Damn I really need to learn to think before I speak. She always said that was one thing I needed to learn how to control.

"OH I do too, how old is yours?" I'd rather talk about Emilie than my screwed up life, even though they were pretty much one in the same.

"2 going on 10." I laughed. "She's my little princess and she knows it."

I laugh at him, "So you have one of them too, I've got a 3yr old."

"Oh yeah?" At least this woman seems somewhat normal, she has a little girl but there was a reason she wasn't there. "I bet you miss her huh?"

I couldn't deny this one. "More than anything in this world."


"I know the feeling. I haven't seen mine in over a week."

I leaned my head to the right then the left again. "Got any tricks on stress relief."

Oh I had a great stress reliever in mind because I used to do it with Dot but seeing as though I no longer had her it wouldn't work. "None that I can think of right off."

"Well there's always taking a run." I fell back to my old standby, he was in shape so maybe he'd run with me.

"Now that I can do."

"So what made you land on Sanibal Island?"

"A kick in the balls I got from my wife." I answered again a little quick.

"What about you? Why is a pretty woman here all alone?"

"Today is the first day of the rest of my life, I got divorced this morning officially and needed some me time."

"That's the second thing we have in common then"

"you got divorced today too?"

"Well not today but two weeks ago."

"Damn exes." That’s all I had.

"So what do you say we go grab a couple of drinks later? Then we can try to get through this with each other?" At least for the time being anyway. I was up for a few drinks even if she didn't want to.

I tied my hair back again before it got all insane and smiled to him, "Wow it’s been forever since I could go out without having to arrange for a babysitter."

"I wish I could say the same." The truth was that Dot always had our little girl which left me available to do what I needed to.

"Wow - I can't say the same. I'd love to get a drink but what do you say right now we go hit the beach, my book is calling me."

I know that sounded bad but I really wanted him to be able to relax and take time for him as well. I knew what he was going through and it’s hard.

"How about you go read and I'll go grab us a beer?"

I scrunched up my nose. "Not a beer fan, Jon."

"So what's the drink of your choice?"

"I'm a white wine girl actually. Sweet wine is my friend." I smiled as we walked up to the beach. Luckily he was on the side of me with no scars

"I've had a bottle of that once." And that wasn't an exaggeration in the least. When I got divorce papers I downed a bottle by myself.

"Oh I've had a few bottles in my time." She smiled sitting down on her towel. "I'll be right here I promise." She stretched out on the towel and started to read.

"I'll see what I can get up there." I started walking up the beach after grabbing my towel to dry off my hair. When I got to the stand there were two choices, beer and water. So I got one of each and headed back towards Robin who was deep into reading. "Water okay for now?"

"Water's great." I smiled to him grateful that he got me anything; Loyd would have gotten me nothing if what I had wanted wasn't there.

"So what book are you reading anyway?"

I leaned back on my elbows watching the ocean while drinking the cold beer I'd been wanting since I woke up a few hours ago.

I smiled to him, "The Deep End of the Ocean. Its on Oprah's book club."

"Never heard of it."

"It’s about a mother's horror, her child gets kidnapped and she's trying to find him when everyone else has given up." I told him, not sure if he wanted to know about it or if he was telling me he didn't care. Men were hard to read.

"Sounds like a depressing thing to read."

"Not so much, they just found him."

"Then that's not so bad." After drinking half of my drink I sat up with my knees up to my chest. "Can you imagine how fuckin' bad that would be to just have your kid taken from you? I mean my wife - my ex has our daughter but at least I know where she's at."

I turned to look at him, "I'd think it would be the most gut wrenching pain."

"Even worse than having your childhood sweetheart break your heart after 14 years."

"Ouch, that long together, do you want to talk about it to release the pain."

"Nah, you just read your book. At least that has a happy ending." I tossed the
empty bottle to the side then laid down on my back hoping to wake up from a nightmare.

"Alright I'm here if you want to escape, I have a mix tape on my walk man with no Jovi on it if you want to borrow it." I hoped he'd take my actions for what they were, just a wounded soul trying to help its twin.

"Thanks for the offer, I appreciate it."

"Not a problem, its right here if you want it." I told him and looked back to my book, I wanted to give him space, while it's been 9 months since I left Loyd it may have been less for Jon I had no idea what the laws were where he lived.

After laying still for about 15 minutes I had to sit back up. My back had been killing me since I'd been on my parents couch for the past few weeks and this wasn't helping.

"What's wrong Jon?"

"Just my back which I just add to the rest of my problems."

That ocean was definitely tempting right about now. I could just go out there and start swimming till I get so tired I can't do anything else. Then it'd be the end of my miserable life. I'd thought about it more than once but damn if I didn't have a quick flash of my little girl before my eyes. I can't leave her that way.

"OK I think my skills are needed, what do you say we go inside and I'll give you a
massage, after all I'm licensed."

"Unless you're a licensed therapist I'll need more help."

"Massage therapist and Jon there is power in the human touch."

"That I know." I looked over my shoulder flashing a smile. "So lets go and you can touch me."

"OH are you a flirt. You're damn good at it too." I smiled at him picking up my towel and wrapping it around my waist.


Chapter 2

"Yeah well it's the only thing I got left."

"Oh from my view you have more than one thing left." I smiled walking up towards the resort with him.

"Did you want to come up to my suite or the other way around?"

"Come to mine I've got my supplies there. Then we can order a bottle of wine and unwind."

"Sounds good to me."

"Did you want to grab any other clothes besides your wet swim trunks, if you do I'm in room 1499."

"You're kidding me? I'm in 1495."

"Is that the floor for all the single divorced people?"

"I'm beginning to wonder." Since her room was just below mine I walked her there then would go back to mine to change into dry clothes. "I'll meet you back here in 10?"

"Not a problem I'll see you in a bit."

What in the hell was I doing? This is definately out of my character because i'm
not one to just go to the room next door to meet a woman just because I'm feeling like I'm a loser. I hung up my swim trunks in the shower then walked over to the mirror to look at myself. "What in the hell are you trying to prove anyway?"

I walked around my room and got some of the lotions and oils I always have with me, moving the couch cushions onto the floor I grabbed one of the sheets off the maids cart across the hall and covered the cushions. "What are you doing Robin? Hitting on him or just feeling a sense of kin-hood to him."

Before leaving the room I looked at the picture of my daughter again and wondered what she was doing right now. Did she really even notice that I wasn't around? Hell it wouldn't be any different than me going out on the road and ignoring them. I took a deep breath walking towards the door and down the hallway to her room. I almost turned around but instead knocked on the door.

I looked at the door and pulled the shirt down over my bra, the shorts were short but covered enough. I opened the door and had to push my hair over my shoulder,
"Come on in Jon."

Damn those beautiful legs of hers were more than noticeable as I walked into the
room.

"Do you feel as odd about this as I do?" I had to know if I was a fish out of water here.

"I'm so damn glad you do because I do to".

I looked at him, "Is this really what our life is all about now, starting completely over all over again. I thought I was done with this crap."

"You're not the only one. I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be single again."

"Its nuts Jon, I can't even fathom what its going to be like for Christmas every year, this isn't truly my life now is it?"

"As sad as it is I'm afraid so. I'm not enjoying being without my kid just as much as you are."

"I guess we'll just have to find new normal's. Do you get your daughter every other holiday?"

"No because my sweet ex wife will only let me do supervised visits."

"What the fuck is that about?" I couldn't even believe it, "Did she get pissed because you took her platinum card away?"

"No she's not like that." While my ex wasn't the best person to deal with at the moment and she surely wasn't my favorite person I still loved her - she's the mother of my child."She just doesn't think I'm capable of watching her by myself."

"And why the hell not, you are the daddy after all. At least I get some visitations."

"I guess that's just it. Every time I'm with her I'm down on her level to do whatever it is she wants to do. She doesn't think I think I should get down on the floor with her and help her with her puzzles or play with her other toys."

"That's exactly what kids need, someone to play with them and let them learn." I don't understand his ex wife at all she sounds like a bitch.

"She's got her reasons I guess. What they are I'll probably never know though."

"That just sucks, so why don't you take your shirt off and lay down on the cushions
and I'll see what I can do about getting rid of the pain in your back."

"So what about you? Is this your weekend without your daughter?" I asked once I
got situated on the cushions.

"Yeah I'm kind of screwed on visitation the ex's family is rich, my visitation is only once a month right now."

"You only get to see your daughter once a month? I thought it was always the mother that ended up with custody?'

"Not when the exes family has enough money to buy the judge."

"Well I can tell you that our judge must've hit the lottery before our court date cause I have more than enough but it didn't help me a damn bit." Why am I even telling this woman that I don't even know what's happened? This was something I hadn't even talked to my parents about yet.

"Well hell then I'm screwed I was planning on hitting the lottery."

"I should be at home right now with her."

"Well I should be with Emilie too but so far thats not happening so how about you stretch your arms up above your head and let me work on your back."

I didn't even start to argue I just did what she said. The pain in my back had been getting worse lately so anything that would make it ease up, I would try.

I kneel down next to Jon rubbing vanilla scented oil into my hands and started massaging the wide spance of his upper back. Large long movements to start the muscles to move, they weren't going to obey me if they were frozen and locked down.

There were a couple of times I almost jumped up off the cushion my body was tight but I knew that in order to feel a relief I'd have to let her loosen them up.

"Wow, what's your typical stress relief activity?"

This was an easy one. There was only one thing I could use as stress relief and that was taken away from me. "Sex."

"Well its not like you can't find a sex buddy."

I tell him putting a little more oil on my hand and started on his lower back.

"I don't want a sex buddy. I want somebody that I can talk to and cuddle with afterwords."

I let my fingers naturally start to move deeper. "Are you sure you're real? You want to cuddle?"

"Pretty damn sure I'm real." I laughed reaching for the pillow to rest my head on.

"Well you kind of sound like a pretty good catch, how good are you in bed?" I asked and then realized I did it. "Sorry Jon I have this open mouth insert foot issue."

Damn I like this woman, she's not afraid to speak her mind thats for sure. "I like to think I'm amazing in bed like any guy would."

"Ok I'm betting you weren't a virgin when you got married so what did the women say?"

"What women?

"The other women you slept with prior to getting married?" She asked moving deeper into his muscles to relax him.

"There wasn't really alot of talking afterwards. It was more like hey, nice to
meet you, let's hop in bed then goodbye."

"So basically it could all be a lie, your desire for cuddling could be all hear sey." She started working on one of his shoulder muscles. "Wow what did you do to your back?"

"You can ask Dot about the cuddling part. And as far as my back goes I'm just under a lot of stress."

I kept working on his back, "I think I won't be asking your ex. I bet there's other ways to get the info."

"You think so?"

"OH yeah I have my ways. How's this feel?" I ask after starting to work on the Trapezium muscle between his shoulder and neck.

"Damn good." A moan escaped my lips before I could even think about stopping it. She was definitely good at her job.

"Your body would be so fun to work on, your so tense but you have such great physical tone I bet I could get you so long and lean and relaxed."

"I'm willing to let you try."

I laughed at him, "You shouldn't say that I've been known to tie men to a bed and have my way with their bodies." Of course that didn't sound anything like the way I intended it to but oh well.

I raised up partially on my side to look back at her. "You don't seem like the kinky type."

"Oh you have no idea my friend." I laughed and moved down to his left latissimus dorsi muscle running across his ribcage in the back. "We're you ever kicked back here?"

"Stabbed but not kicked." I laid my head back down onto the pillow.

"you were stabbed?" I asked shocked how a rockstar would get into that situation.

"When I got my divorce papers."

"Are you saying you had no idea she wasn't happy?" I asked him while working on him some more, putting more oil this time lavender on my hands before moving over his back.

"She just hated to be alone all the time. Had I known it'd end up like this I would have kept my ass home more."

I moved up his back on the other side, honestly I couldn't see him staying home, the little I did know of him was that he was insanely a work a holic. "Would you really?"

"To keep my family intact - yes."

I shook my head, "I guess that's something I just don't understand. How can a woman that claims to love you and took a vow to be with you knowing full well who and what you were suddenly ask you to change that to soot her needs."

"She was persuaded by her new friend." I was sure to put that in air quotes because he was more of a friend than Dot had ever let on.

I get it now, "So she found a boytoy at home and made you feel guilty for not being home to justify her being a sleeze?"

That's a story I knew too well.

"She's not a sleeze Robin, she was just lonely."

"Bullshit, if you cheat on your spouse your a sleeze."

"Then I guess I am to because I wasn't exactly faithful at the beginning. "

"Am I the last faithful person on the planet or something, did that go out of fashion or something?"

"No it's a damn good quality have."

"I really want that from a guy. I couldn't believe I had to take an std test after I left him."

"You're kidding me?" Even through years of being with Dot I never even thought about needing to do that. "Was he really that bad?"

"He was a slut, all his business trips were basically just room for affairs."

"I'm sorry."

"Its just a shame I really would like to be able to believe in the fairy tale." I wiped my eye softly.

"I don't think I ever will again."

"That completely sucks. I want my beliefs back."

"I want my little rugrat back." I looked over my shoulder at her. "And my bed which was another thing she got."

"Well you can buy a better one." I told him and massaged the base of his spine right over his ass. "Do you swing your ass around all the time?"

"I used to."

"I can tell." I laughed massaging the gluteus medius right above his ass, damn he had a nice ass. "Its very muscular back here, you've worked it a lot."

"Thanks - I think." I laughed.

"But that's done and over with now."

"Well I'm just saying your very well developed and I should know I've had my hands on some pretty decent bodies." I laugh knowing that Jon will take that in some odd direction.

"Does that go in hand with your kinky tying a guy up thing?"

A smile crossed my lips, "wouldn't you like to know."

"Actually yeah I would."

I moved over onto my side smiling back at her. "If you like doing crazy shit like that then why in the hell did your man go off to another woman?"

"Cos he was an abusive ass who was never happy with anything I did."

"Abusive?" That just pissed me off. Any man who thinks he's big and bad just because he beats on his wife is one that needs the same thing done to them.

"Lets just say that he didn't treat me right."

"And they let him have your daughter?"

"That's what money in Wyoming gets you."

"Well if it's any help to ya I'll go beat the shit out of 'em for hurting you and taking your daughter."

"Only if you'll let me beat Dorothea for hurting you and taking your daughter."

"I can't let you do that."How did she know her name was Dorothea? I only mentioned Dot earlier, not her actual name.

"Why not? Do you still love her for hurting you?" I asked while still rubbing his back, luckily he was starting to unwind a bit.

"I do still care about her as crazy as that is but I think it's more because she's the mother of our child."

"Funny my ex didn't feel that way." Robin stopped rubbing his back. "I think that's as loose as I can get you."

"I gotta tell you I feel alot better." I stretched then pushed my body up with my arms. "I might have you do that again before you leave."

"I could do that hourly Jon, I love that aspect of my life."

"Well you're damn good at it." Reaching over for my shirt I glanced back at her.
"I might just take you home with me."

"Well are there a lot of spas by your home, and one that needs another therapist, since I left WY I need to find a new home."

"I don't know of any spa's around to be honest with you."

I stood up and stretched to the right then left, "Well that just sucks."