Chapter 3

"Well then earn the right to be back in their lives. If she's this saint you seem to believe she is then she'd never keep you from your child unless you've done something I don't know about.

"The only thing I've done is work to damn hard and stayed away from home."

"Well then stay home for a while and call her every day until she lets you see her but honestly Jon this attitude of yours sucks and makes spending time with you not attractive to spend time with."

"Look I'm sorry alright." I sat up in the chair taking of my sunglasses for a few minutes. "I'm new at this being single thing."

"So am I Jon but I know you can't be happy if your using 99% of your energy beating yourself up and being angry."

"It just hurts like hell Robin." Out of my entire 33 years I've never felt like this.
I reached over putting my hand on his knee. "I know Jon, I've walked that pain, remember not only have I been divorced and lost my child but I've also had the guy that I thought was my prince charming get locked inside his own head and take it out on me."

"Does the feeling ever go away?"

"A little at a time, when you give it permission to."

"I just never thought it'd be like this." I admitted looking around at the pure beauty
of the place I was at. It was truly paradise so why was I so miserable?

"Neither did anyone but 50% of marriages fail Jon, you can only control your actions and next time now that you know better you'll do better."

"I don't know if there will be a next time to be honest with ya. One broken heart is enough to last me a lifetime." I looked over into her eyes. "Do you think you'll ever do it again?"

"yes" without a doubt, I had to try again.

"Really? Even after everything your ex put you through?"

"Hell yes, because I don't fail and I deserve a real love affair, I'm determined to get it right this time."

"Maybe I'll get to that point one day?"

"You aren't scared of love now are you?"

"I don't know to be honest. I thought I always knew what love was but now I'm not so sure."

I stood up, "Ok take a walk with me and explain it to me."

"Explain what exactly?"

I looked at him as I walked a foot away, "What you think love looks and feels like. I'm going towards the ocean."

"I don't think I understand what you mean." Reluctantly I got up from the chair to follow her.

"Well you said you always thought you knew what love was but now your not sure so tell me what you think love is and I'll tell you if thats what I think it is and we'll see how much we know."

"I think that love is having that special person in you life that you can't wait to get home to. Somebody you'll do anything for no matter the time. Somebody that you can talk to about anything."

"But you didn't do anything for her did you Jon, you didn't stay home for her?"

"No because I was always focusing on work so that she'd never have to worry about a thing."

"So you know that's not the way to go about things next time, what else do you know?"

"That I miss having somebody to hold at night after a bad day. I think thats one thing that's really gotten to me."

"Well its not like you can't have someone to hold at night Jon."

"But I want to mean something ya know. I don't want to just curl up to a warm body."

"Well then Jon I'm back to my earlier statement, make it happen. Stop whining and pouting and being an overall pussy and man up to the life you now have and enjoy anything you can."

"Why do you think you can talk to me like that? Dot never even said those things to me."

"Because you're just a guy, and I got treated like shit long enough from my ex and I won't deal with it from any man ever again and I was very not enjoying being your very punching bag with the negativity, I didn't cause your pain and you were too stuck in your head to let go of it."

"You do know that you're the first person I talked to about this."

"I thought that might be the case."

"Which I guess is why I'm coming off as a complete ass."

"I think I should just get a new tag line with you Jon, its going to be something like ... make a choice. Just so I don't sound like a complete bitch."

"My choice has been made already. Weren't you listening."

"No Jon I once saw this poem about choices and I'd love to find it for you. Basically life is about choices, you choose to be happy or sad, you choose to let others effect your moods, you choose how to react to a situation, theres a choice in everything you have to make it no one else can. Or something like that I just try to live my life by that and it seems to be working."

"I'd give anything to be happy again. Just to feel that feeling of nothing can break me down because I have everything I've ever needed."

"I love how beautiful it is here Jon, what do you say we go out on the wave runners."

"You're kidding me right?"

"no why would I kid about fast water toys"

"You're crazy." I laughed watching her look over at them. "I don't know how to ride one of those damn things."

"So try something new jon what's the worst that can happen? You fall in the water and play with dolphins."

"Or drowned."

"I'm sure you can swim your a beach bum"

I smiled swimming past her until my feet had hit the bottom. "Come on. I'll let you show me how to do this."

I reached out for her hand. "Come on. I'll let you show me how to do this."

"Ok, lets go find some wetsuits and go play."

"Wet suits? Why don't you just where that?"

Her body was definitely wasn't something he could get tired of looking at.

"Well what if my suit falls off while we're flying through the ocean.'

"Well...." There was no way to hide the smile on my face right now. Just the thought of it was almost a turn on.

"See you are still in there." She smiled walking up to the resort employee, "Hi we'd like to take some wave runners out."

"Well I have one right, the rest are reserved for a group coming down in a few minutes."

"Ok we'll take the one then, Jon needs to fall off a few times." I laughed.

"Very funny lady!" I reached around behind her back grabbing the key while she signed the sheet. "We'll see who falls off."

"You don't even know how to drive that thing."

"How hard could it be? It's a motorcyle on water."

"Alright rockstar lets go I'll even let you drive then." I smiled and put my lifejacket on and then crawled on the back wrapping my arms around him.

"You afraid you'll fall off or something?" How the hell do I do this? At least I had a head start and had the key so it needed to be started. Finding the ignition I got it started then pulled back on the handle moving slowly at first.

"If I scream like a scared little girl will you go faster." I laughed.

"Possibly." I laughed.

"Weeee" I screamed in a high pitch girly scream.

I couldn't help but laugh as I pulled back making it go faster. "That better?"

"Faster" I smiled, it was good to be carefree for just a little while.

The water was now splashing up beside the jet ski as we went farther out into the ocean. It felt nice being able to just enjoy my day and not have to worry about anything.

I squeezed him tighter and laughed, "Faster Jon"

Damn it had been a while since I'd heard that from a woman - three months to be exact.
"You sure you can handle it?"

"OH yeah I love it that way." I teased.

"Good to know." A smirk moved across my face as I went as fast as possible, even getting a little air riding over the waves.

"AHHHH!" I screamed as I lost my balance flying off the back of the jet ski into the ocean.

Instantly I stopped almost afraid to look back but when I did turn around I saw her with a look of confusion. "Who was goin' in the water first?" I couldn't help but smile riding back over to her.

"That's cos someone couldn't drive. My turn."

"Hey now, I can drive this thing. You're the one that said to go faster." I laughed
reaching my hand out to her to help her back on.

I got back into place and wrapped my arms around him again, "Sure blame the woman who's all wet."

"Oh I will!"

I held tight to him for another 20 minutes as he sped faster and faster through the open waters of the ocean, finally he started trying to do fast spins to see if I'd fall off, what he didn't expect of course was that I woudl hole him to him so tight that we both fell off pulling the key from the jetski that was looped around his wrist. As we bobbed in the ocean the machine sat there idly just laughing at us. "How'd that happen?"

"You tell me." Looking at her I shook my head then splashed water over towards her.

"Hey there Romeo thats not nice."

"What's not?" I splashed a little more water then looked around. "Did you just see that fish jump up and splash you?"

"You know I just must have missed that." I splashed him back.

"Don't splash the rockstar."

"Do you think your hair will get out of place or something?" I laughed at him splashing him again.

"Yes actually I do."

"You'll survive." I laughed and swam over to the jetski getting up on it and smiled back to him. "Come on you wanna be shark bait?"

"Like I'm afraid of a shark."

"Damn I never knew you were this studly."

"There's probably alot about me you don't know." I answered moving to get back onto the jet ski.

I reached back for his wrist and took the key off it, sliding it on mine. "I bet there is." Starting the jetski I turned it around and started heading towards shore, it was pretty far off in the distance so it was best we head in that direction.

On the way back I didn't say anything but instead enjoy the beauty surrounding me. It was the first time I'd actually taken a look - I should consider myself lucky for the most part because most people only dream of this.

As we pulled up to the doc I could sense a difference in Jon. Something calmer about him. Getting off the jet ski I followed him for a few feet before asking, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine, why?"

"You just seem a little different now that we're back on land."

"Well I'm just thankful I made it back in one piece with your driving." I joked.

"Hey I didn't make you end up in the ocean mister."

"Actually yeah you did." Looking over at her I flashed another smile. "You seem to have had a good grip on me that last time and pulled me in."

"But I wasn't driving so that was your fault Buddy." I laughed.

"How the hell was it my fault when you fell in and made me come with you?"

"Cos I said so - duh." I laughed.

"You do know that's not a good reason right?"

"But it really works for me, and I'm cute so I get away with it." I don't know if it was the sun or the hunger kicking in that was making me act all young.

"Okay I'll let you have that one."

She wasn't cute but more sexy than anything. "So you up for some lunch?"

"Absolutely, I'm starving actually."

"Well there's a place outside we can eat, that way we don't have to change clothes."

"You just wanna look at me in a bikini top." I laughed.

"Something wrong with that?"

Smiling more to myself than anything I told him, "Do you want to be called a typical guy."

"More than anything."

He hated being Jon the rockstar, for once he wanted to try to be normal. Or at least as normal as he could be.

"Alright typical man as long as you find me a table in the sun I'm all yours."

"All mine huh?" I smiled leading her up the steps and over to a table in full view of the sun.

"For the afternoon anyway."

"Damn that's it?" I laughed. "Not even for the night?"

"OH no I'm not that kind of girl." I laughed.

"So you're not the hi, nice to me you now lets go to bed kinda girl?"

"Nope, I'm the hi, nice to meet you lets get to know each other, go out on a few days then maybe I'll end up in your bed kind of girl."

"So you play hard to get."

"There's no play, I'm just not easy."

"That's a rare quality but I'm glad to know there's still a few of you out there."

"So when do you think its appropriate to have sex in a relationship Jon?"

"Depends on the relationship I guess." Shrugging my shoulders I motioned to the waiter to bring us two waters for the time being. "I haven't exactly had to deal with that for
a while."

"Oh me either but I've been thinking about it because its my life nwo I need to knwo where I stand on this stuff."

"Then maybe we can figure this out together."

"So in a perfect world Jon, your dating now and have to believe something, whats a good time for sex with a new partner, knowing everything you know now."