Chapter 2

"If I had the business sense maybe but there's just things I don't know about running a company."

"It's not that hard really."

"you run a company?" I asked him not sure if he owned something or not I thought he was just a singer in a long haired rock and roll band.

"If you want to count a successful band then yeah I did."

"But aren't you by your own words, just the singer in a long haired rock and roll band."

"Not anymore." I quickly put my shirt back on once she had wiped off the excess oil.

"So when did that change, its actually my favorite song." I told him wiping my hands off.

"I'm just gonna take a break from the whole music thing."

"Well I guess I can understand that you've been through a lot."

"You have no idea the hell I went through."

I look at him almost offended, "So you're the only one that's ever been divorced?"

"No I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that personally it's the worst thing I've ever been through."

"Well I understand that. I think I'm in a unique position to understand your pain but why does that mean you can't release that pain and write it out of you? Isn't music therapeutic to you or is it just business now?"

"You know it's funny because I always thought my music was the most important thing to me but the minute Dot served me with divorce papers I realized it wasn't"

"So what is?"

"Family." Sure it was a simple answer but it was the truth. Without my wife and kid life was pointless.

"Well then go get her back. Go promise her the sun and the moon and that you'll never tour or want to play your guitar, go give up you to get her back." I storm off into the bathroom and slam the door. Oh he pissed me off, another man that thinks its all or nothing. Another man that thinks the world is his to control.

Yet another woman I piss off and this time I didn't even do anything! I fell back on couch that was behind me trying to figure out what I said or did. All I answered with was one word and hell if she didn't think family was important she wasn't someone he'd want to associate with.

I walked out into the suite after washing my hands and face. I really had no idea what to say to him.

"Look maybe it's best if I just go back to my room?" Sure go back there and be miserable by yourself.

"Why not risk voicing your thoughts with me. Jon I got pissed off for a reason but does that not matter? I know you're in your head right now but how about stepping out of it so maybe we both can heal a little."

"Women get pissed at me it's what you do."

"Thats not what I do. I just get pissed when guys think the entire world revolves around them. You know even if you gave up music she found someone else do you really think one decision can fix everything?"

"If I would have stayed home then she never would have met this new friend of hers. So it's all my fault."

"you know that for a fact huh? I did stay home and my asshole still met others. Your choices were yours but she had choices to make too and she made some that have consequences, you can't allow her to rule your life Jon no more than I can allow Loyd to rule mine."

"Yes I do know that because Dot and I were never like that. We had been best friends for as long as I can remember but I left her one to many times."

"So then I guess you control everything, you control the whole world, her actions, your actions, hell you probably control my actions too. Why do guys do that, think that because you think something is a certain way thats just the way it is." I really wanted to reach out and strangle him but since I barely knew him I couldn't.

"Because I know I'm right." And I was because there was nothing in this world that could ever split up my family.

I sat down on my couch in my room after throwing the cushions back up there. "you really blow my mind."

"Why because I'm that much of loser?"

"No because you're that self centered and egocentric."

"No I'm not!" How dare this woman to even suggest that about me. How does she know what my life is like and how I act at home.

"Well that's how it sounds, when one person thinks that their decisions are the most important and they single handled affect all the changes in the other peoples' lives. Jon you're just one guy you don't control the world."

"I never said my decisions where the most important, all I said was that I should've done things differently."

"Yes if you want to leave it there thats one thing but saying if you would have done things different so would she have thats where I get offended, you don't control her actions, you have no idea what she would have done if you would have been there every day and claiming that your actions change hers is claiming that your thoughts and actions are more important and thought out than hers, like she just reacts to you rather than has her own mind."

"Look she is one of the most independent women that I know and I never once controlled her."

"Than where in your mind does it make sense that your actions control hers?"

"I just think if I was the husband I was when we first got married I'd be holding
her in my arms while we watched our little girl playing."

"Well then go back and grovel for your spot back in her world

"Believe me I've tried." My hands moved over my face thinking back to the night we went away together. That night was perfect but it still wouldn't change her mind.

"Well then you'll have to learn to accept what is rather than moaning for what was. I'm sorry if I'm being a little to honest for you but this has rubbed a nerve."

"I'm sorry you're husband was an ass to you but don't take it out on me alright."

"Well he did what you're doing, tried to control every situation and my reactions to them."

"And hit you. I never once raised my hand to my wife so don't even compare me to him!"

"Ok that one I'll give you, but the other I stand by. Your a controlling man by nature I can sense that but hasn't anyone ever told you that you can't control a woman's heart."

I looked over at her just nodding my head. I had been told that over the years but I also continued to win back her heart every time. At least every time but this last one.

"Do you think maybe it was just one time to many of trying to control the situation and she finally took the control the only way she felt she could."

"Not only did she take control but she took my heart right along with it."

"Well that's kind of the way things work when you love someone with all your heart it hurts your whole heart when it ends." I told him softly knowing something might have rang a bell.

"You're right. But every time I look at my daughter I'm reminded of her. Do you have any damn idea how bad that hurts me?"."

"Yes I do Jon, remember I have a daughter too that isn't with me I get the pain."

"I know Robin." Taking in a deep breath I put my elbows on my knees and let my head rest against my hands. "I"m sorry."

"What are you sorry for - you aren't my ex, you didn't hurt me the way he did. I've tried really hard over the past 9 months to come to terms with all that with my therapist."

"I'm sorry for making you listen to my sorry ass past."

"Well isn't that what friends are for."

"Yeah." Friends? How can I be friends with somebody I just met? Not to mention this woman doesn't know me - I could be an axe murderer for all she knew.

"Well Jon maybe it is best you go to your own room, obviously you are way to into your own head to be able be here with me."

"I think I'll go call Dot and check in to see how my little princess is." She was
right, he wasn't able to mentally be with anybody right now, friend or not.

"Have a good night." I got up and showed him out.

"You to." I walked out but turned back around before she shut the door. "Maybe I'll see you around tomorrow?"

"Yes maybe you will." I smiled at him and shut the door. Turning on my heal I leaned up against the door, the frustration I felt wasn't completely at him, but some of it was.

After a long night of tossing and turning after a call to Dot I finally gave up on actually trying to sleep. It was only 9 am so I just grabbed a bagel and juice on the way to the pool. That's when I saw her. I lowered my sunglasses to catch the beauty of the woman lying down on the lounger. After last night I wasn't sure if she even wanted to see me but there was only one way to find out.

"This seat taken?"

"No its not Jon, take a seat." I couldn't be rude, I just don't couldn't live my life that way.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" I asked realizing that I just brought myself something. "I can go get you somethin' if ya want."

"No thanks Jon I ate before my run."

"So - ummm. Did you sleep okay?" You're a smooth one Jon - no wonder Dorothea dumped me.

I looked over at him, "Well as good as I could. I'm still not used to sleeping alone."

"Yeah me either. Hell I've had somebody in my bed for 14 years"

"I don't remember being happy that Loyd was there he just always was. I'd love to find out what its like to have a guy there that you want to curl up to and tease and cuddle with." I breathed deeply. "Sorry waxing a little poetic this morning."

"That's alright." I smiled at her wondering if I'd ever find that again.

"It's good to know there's still women out there that appreciate that."

I smile, "I really would love a backrub too but somehow that doesn't seem to ever happen for me why is that?"

"Because your man was there to get what he wanted and he didn't give a damn about how you felt?"

"You know that wasn't allowed." She smiled sitting up straighter still showing her flat stomach.

"Damn."

I looked at him, "Damn what?"

"Has anybody ever told you that you have a beautiful body?"

"He did when we were dating, then he told me to lose weight pretty regularly."

"Why? I mean I would never do that to a woman." And to this day I never had. "While looks help it's not all that matters."

"Then you are unique. Most men I've known are quite particular about the looks of their toy."

"Toy?"

"Well thats how he referred to me for a while. Typically when I was being a good wife."

"If I ever called dot that she would have back handed me."

"Did she hit you often?"

"I'm sure she felt like it a few times." I laughed knowing I had done some stupid things over the years. "But no she never did."

"Good I'm glad you never had to deal with it. You don't think toy is a good
nickname, what kind of nicknames do you typically use?"

"Baby, beautiful -." I laughed shrugging my shoulders. "Love muffin."

"Love muffin now thats one I haven't heard before."

"That just came out one day when we were cleaning up the house so we could move.
It was one of those names that just kind of stuck."

"Wow the things a woman finds out by talking." I laughed.

"Wait till I'm drunk." I laid back on the chair getting comfortable so I could relax in the sun.

"Is that something you want to happen. I can get wine."

"Maybe tonight when we go out to dinner."

"We're going out for dinner?"

I turned my head to the side flashing a smile. "If you say yes."

"How good does the smile work for you normally?" I bust him on his flirtations smile

"I have a daughter what does that tell you."

"Worked at least once." I laughed.


"More that that but that's the only way I could get my point across." I lowered my glasses looking over the top of them. "So what'dya say? Will you go out to dinner with me tonight?"

"Sure Jon, I need to eat." I laugh at his over the top flirting.

"Yeah that's why I asked." I smiled. "I knew you couldn't resist dinner."

"OH how'd you know that?"

"Cause everybody needs to eat at one point."

"Gotcha."

"So do you always get up this early?"

"Typically yes. I don't know if that'll change now that I don't have my little girl with me every day, but typically I'll go for a run."

"Normally I do to but this morning I just wasn't in the mood for it."

"Well I've done a lot of therapy like I told you last night Jon, I'm biding my time to get my daughter back, I know she's safe right now so I'm going to not make her life miserable by watching me be miserable they pick up on our emotions so well, I don't want to fight with my ex in front of her but I'm going to work and save every cent and then take him to court and get her back."

"I don't think that'll ever happen for me."

"Well Jon I think your stubborn enough and strong enough to make anything happen that you want."

"Not after last night."

"Why what happened last night?" I ask reaching over for my bottle of water.

"I went off on Dot because he was at the house. I told her I didn't want him around our daughter because I didn't know him."

"And how'd that work for you? Did she apologize and kick him out or tell you to get
bent?"

"She told me I didn't have any say who our daughter is around."

"I just don't understand how we as parents can just be eliminated from their lives."

"Me either especially when I'd give them both anything they ever wanted."

I wrinkled my nose up not thinking he's getting what I'm saying, "some people can't be satisfied."

"And some people can't see how much they're cared about."

"I guess not." I answered just trying to pacify him, I have no idea what he wants to hear and no interest in joining his pitty parade, it took me months to get out of that headspace.

"Do you know that she even lets MY little girl call him daddy?" That I didn't know till last night when I heard her in the background saying daddy repeatedly and heard the male voice in the back ground.

I turned and sat up facing him. "Jon I'm going to tell you something that I don't think anyone in your life has the guts to day to you, but since I don't know you I'm going to. You need to drop the anger, if you're pissed and you think what's going on is unfair, change it - you have millions of dollars and you can buy any judge you want. Get your daughter back, you can't get your ex back because obviously you fucked it up. Some of us don't have the money to control our worlds so we have to grow up and stop pouting in one of the most beautiful places in the country. Take a walk Jon, look around you and see what you do have, then if you don't like that take action."

"Millions of dollars don't mean a thing when it comes to stability Robin, even though Dot has a regular job she's still at home every night. No lawyer in their right mind would grant a rockstar custody of a kid."

"But it sounds like if you throw enough money at Dot she'll give you custody or at least visitation, I don't have that option Jon so stop fucking whining Jon its so damn infuriating it makes me want to scream."

"Believe me Dot isn't that type and besides that I give her more than enough money for her and the baby to live on."