Chapter 4

"I would say after a few dates. And did last night count as one?" If it did and they were going on date number 2 tonight they could be getting close to that point. He looked over at her breasts for a split second just thinking about what it would be like
to have them against his chest.

"I agree after a few dates and last night wasn't one in my eyes, we just started today after we got on the same page a little better."

"Yeah but you touched me, I consider that a date."

"I touch everyone Jon, that's my job."

I then looked up at him, "I do have to say though, you have one of the nicest backs I've gotten to play with in a long time."

"Thanks I think." After checking over my shoulder to make sure that nobody was there
"And do you give everybody a happy?"

I looked at him a bit confused, "A hard on?"

"Yeah that." I know at that point I had a sheepish smile on my face.

"Actually Jon that's more common than you think. I don't think many women take the time to truly touch their men, which leaves them craving the human experiance. Yeah they'll have sex and some of them will hold his hand or maybe give him head but I don't know many of my non - work friends who'll actually sit on the couch when he's sitting there too and just caress his back, touching his legs."

"You're right about that."

I picked at my salad, "I really don't understand that to tell you the truth. I'd love to do that someday but not yet."

"So does that mean you're not ready for a relationship?"

"im not sure, honestly this is the first time I'm thinking about one."

"Oh so you have somebody in mind then?" It figured, the one time he found somebody interesting she was thinking about someone else.

"Its hard to think in that fashion but there's this guy I met." He had to know it was him.

"Lucky guy." I smiled across the table at her.

"You think he's lucky? Why do you think that?" I had to know if he saw the cracks in my armor

"Look at you - you're a beautiful woman. Any guy would be crazy not to like you."

"And if I wasnt beautiful?"

"Then you're an incredibly caring person that obviously knows how to put people at ease. Not to mention funny which is incredibly sexy."

"So you like to laugh babe?"

Accidentally that endearment slipped out, it was kind of a natural word for me.

"Yes babe." I laughed. "I do."

"Sorry I call lots of people that it kind of slipped."

"It's alright Robin, it's one of the nicer things I've been called lately."

"So do you do that? Call women names -in good ways I mean?"

"Nothing but a good way,"

I sat back in the chair making sure he could see my torso with only the bikini top to cover me. "What are you favorites?"

"Baby without a doubt. It's one of those words that just kind of slips without you even thinking about it."

"So I use babe you use baby this should be funny."

"Yeah we might get confused as to who is who."

"Might have to get nametags." I laughed.

"Or I could just call you beautiful?" I glanced up with lopsided grin.

"Now that's sexy." I smiled at him.

"You think so huh?"

"OH yeah I know that."

"So what else do you know? Like what kind of a guy do you like?"

A deep sigh was all I could muster, "One that doesn't hit."

"I definitely fall in the category."

"One that likes to cuddle?"

"That'd be me to."

"Someone that likes to kiss for hours."

"Just hours?"

"Well maybe a little longer. I also like like men that are strong and confident in who
they are."

Now that one would be a tough one for me. While I was like that when I was married it was taken away in an instant, but with a beautiful woman on my arm that woulc happen against. "That could be me."

I tilted my head to the side with a smile, "What makes you strong and confident Jon?"

"Knowing that when I come home I have somebody there waiting on me that loves me for me and not who I am on stage."

"That could be me."

"You can tell me that after two days of knowing me?"

"I said that it could be not that it is yet?"

"Right, but you could? That's a plus."

"Its possible babe."

"Good to hear."

"So what else do you like?" I reached forward to get my ice tea showing off my curves, I knew I had a body that was in shape, I was never allowed to have any fat on me with the ex."

"That." I answered not even thinking as I stared at her chest.

"That what?" I had no idea what he was referring to.

"Ummm." I cleared my throat before taking a drink of my water. Hoping she didn't realize where my eyes were just looking. "Just a woman that takes the time to stay in shape."

"Stays in shape or is super skinny because honestly Jon if I had my choice I wouldn't be this thin."

"In shape." Looking over at her I wondered why she ever let her husband control her the
way he did. "To be honest I think you'd look even better if you added a few pounds. To skinny isn't good for your health."

"Thanks Jon." I smiled at him.

"Did he ever not let you eat something you wanted?"

"No I was pretty much scolded when he didn't like it."

"Really? I think that Dot would have kicked my ass if I even thought about telling her what to do."

"Well the way he looked at it, I was his he had a right to voice an opinion, but he just never shut up about it."

"But he was yours to right? I mean that's what a marriage is."

"Supposedly. It didn't seem to work that way though."

"I'm sorry he was such an ass to you."

"He wasn't always, just the last 2 years or so."

"So what changed?" For some reason I just couldn't wrap my mind around why a man would treat his wife this way.

"He got 2 promotions at work and started earning obscene amounts of money and thought that gave him rights."

"That doesn't make any sense at all."

"I can not claim that it made sense."

"I just can't understand guys that do that. Women should be treated with nothin but respect, especially when that woman is the mother of your child."

"I hope you do what you say you do."

I took in a deep breath leaning back against the chair. "I wish I could say I have lately but damn it's just hard ya know, especially with everything thats went on between us. I guess deep down I do still love her but at the same time I don't want her knowing that."

"I completely agree, there's one or two things about him I love, the biggest of course is our daughter."

"You know to pay asshole back you should set him up with Dot. He'll never raise another hand to a woman after she gets done with him."

I smiled, "Is she that vicious?"

"She's a 3rd degree black belt so you tell me."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah she's pretty damn good at it, but luckily i've never been on the receiving end." Laughing I glanced over at the ocean then back to her. "But if you say anything to offend her especially if its about our daughter then you'd better look out."

"I don't think I'll talk to her at all."

"I wouldn't let her hurt ya."

"And you can stop her. I couldn't stop a 1st degree blackbelt let alone a 3rd."

"All I'd have to do is tell her you come in peace."

"I'm thinking that would be awkward. What else do you like in a woman."

"Obviously she has to like kids because eventually I do want a few more."

"How many more?"

"At least three, I've always wanted four kids."

"Seriously four kids? What about if you get with a woman that already has a kid."

"Then I'll just need two more to make it complete. What about you? Did you ever want a
big family?"

"I had thought about having a big family when I was little, but then after I had one with Loyd I kind of steared away from it, now I might be more open to it."

"Was it because of the way he treated you?"

"Yes, he called me fat when I was pregnant, told me I wasn't attractive to him, he just liked skinny women and I wasn't skinny when I was pregnant, I gained 30 lbs."

"Which brings me back to how can I guy not think his pregnant wife isn''t attractive?"

"You wanna call him up and ask him feel free, I talk to him only when necessary."

"I'd better not but if ever meet this guy he better hope like hell we're not alone."

"Thanks but I'm thinking you don't need to be in his presence."

"I'm thinking you're probably right." From the sounds of it he sounded like a complete ass. "So what about tonight? Where did you want to go?"

"I don't know anything about where we are but I saw a sea shell museum and a light house that we could tour."

"Sounds good to me, at least it'll get me out of that room."

"Get you to do something you've probably never done, I can't see you walking through a
sea shell museum."

"Well I can't say that I have." I laughed. "But I guess that'll change tonight."

"Unless you have something else you'd like to do? We can go see a movie after all no one knows your here."

"No tonight is ladies choice." I figured if her husband was as bad as she said it was then she probably never got to choose anything they did.

"Really?"

"Sure."

"Wow ok, do you have a preference in attire, after all in case someone where to photograph us?"

"I'd prefer seeing you in a bikini, but I guess casual clothes will do."

"I don't think bikini's are appropriate restaurant attire."

"Would be if I owned a restaurant."

I had to smile, "You probably could own one."

"I'm sure I could but that'd just be more headaches I'm sure."

"Alright, so what are you up this afternoon before our date?"

"I need to call Dot to check in on my little rugrat but aside from that I have nothing planned."

"I should call shithead too."

"Does he even let you talk to your daughter?"

"Yes, he's not a complete dick anymore, he has his little prize got rid of the embarrassment and he doesn't have to hide his affairs anymore."

"I can't believe a judge would even let a guy like that keep a kid and only let their own mom see them a couple times a month."

"Money talks."

"Only if you have the right lawyer I guess."

"So why don't we just go our separate ways for a few hours and we'll get together later. "

"That's fine, what time did you want to leave?"

"I'd say about 3 maybe the shell thing closes at 5."

"That's fine with me." I stood up from the table reaching my hand out to help her up.

"I'll come pick you up around 3 then."

"Alright Thanks Jon." I smile as we walk up to our rooms."

After I walked her up to her room I went into mine where I sat down on the edge of the bed. I wondered if I should really call her or not because the previous night I said a few things I probably shouldn't have. "Might as well do it and get it over with." I reached over for the phone dialing that familiar number.

Dot reached over and grabbed the phone, "Hi Jon." She said emotionlessly.

"How'd you know it was me?"

"Caller id. I know your at a hotel somewhere from what you said yesterday so I guessed unavailable was you."

"Good guess. So how's my little girl?"

"Our little girl is fine, she's pretending to color do ou want to talk to her."

"Pretending to color?" I laughed.

Dot laughed, she hated Jon for not being there, but she'd be damned if she ever told him that. "She has colors, she's no where near the lines so she's pretending."

"Ahhh that makes sense then! I don't want to bother her if the little artist is at work."

"I'm sure she'll take your call, Stephie wanna talk to daddy?"

"Daddy?" She reached up towards her mom who was holding the phone.

Dot handed the phone to their daughter. "Daddy!" Steph full on yelled into the phone.

"Hey honey." The exitement in her voice could make me smile no matter how bad my day had been.. "What have you been doin?"

"I color"

"Are you coloring me something pretty?"

"Yeah I color Daddy!"

"Well I can't wait to see it sweetheart." Hearing her sweet voice was a little overwhelming for him especially knowing that he won't be there on Christmas morning.

"Daddy where you?"

"I'm at a beach honey."

"Why"

"Because mommy and daddy needed a break."

"I love you"

"I love you to princess." I wiped the tears from eyes hearing the innocence in her voice. She didn't understand what was going on, all she knew that her daddy wasn't there anymore.

I never in my wildest dreams thought that it would be this hard to be away from her.

"I go color now - bye" She had no time for talking she had coloring to do."

"Good to know where I stand I guess."

Steph handed the phone back to Dot and sat back down, "Jon?"

"Yeah?"

"She has to color so she's ditched us."

"So I heard." Taking in a deep breath I sat back against the headboard of the bed. "So how have you been Dot?"

"Frustrated, heartbroken and justified." She explained.

"I know the feeling."

"Mike's gone." Dot told him softly, Jon was always her best friend it was so hard not to confide in him.

"Gone? What happened Dottie?"

"He tried to take over my life. He had no right."

"Damn baby, I'm sorry." Although he hated the fact of another man with Dot she
deserved happiness to.

"its ok, he was just a rebound guy. I'll find happiness. How about you, how are you Jon?"

"I'm okay I guess." He bit on his bottom lip wondering when and if he should tell her about Robin.

She could tell he was hiding something but that was Jon, you betray him and you're out of the circle. "I know you hate me, I know I broke your heart Jon but in the long run this will be for the best, we'll both find someone that fits us."

"Dot I'll never hate you, you know that."

"That is open for debate. I know you're pissed at me, I know I'm out of your circle." She told him, then suddenly Jon could hear, "love DADDY! Mine" From Steph.

"Tell her I love her and yes I am hers." I laughed. "She's got me wrapped around her
pinky."

"She knows that already and she's only two. I'm gonna let you go Jon she's starting to color the walls."

"Before I go did you want the number here in case you need to call me?"

"Yes what is it, No Stephie not the walls."

I laughed softly as I rattled off the number. "I'll be going to dinner later but I'll be back if you need me during the night."

"Thanks Jon I'll talk to you soon." Before Dot could hang up Steph giggled, "My daddy love"

Damn I love that little girl more than life itself. "Hey Dot?"

"Yeah Jon"

"Can you give her a big hug and kiss for me?"

"Sure will as soon as I can catch the little stinker."

"Thanks. I'll talk to you later baby." After that slip I pinched the bridge of my nose wondering if I'd ever break that habit with her. "I'll talk to you later Dot."

"Goodbye Jon. Steph not the walls you turkey" She hung up the phone and chased her daughter.

What kind of idiot would leave her without a fight? Mike clearly didn't know what he had and he hoped that she knew that there was somebody out there that deserved her.

I hung up the phone from my baby girl with a smile. I didn't learn much except that she was playing with her bear. It didn't matter that knowledge was enough to make me smile.

After getting dressed in a pair of jeans and simple dress shirt I went down to Robin's room knocking on the door, but not without thinking of his phone call.

I pulled the door open and my smile got bigger, I stood before him in a white and brown tiered voile sundress, with sequins and embroidery throughout. The bodice buttoned up and was highlighted but the crocheted cinching around the waist. The tiniest lingerie strap held it up but slide off my shoulder while I opened the door. "Hey Jon."

"Ummm wow!" She was so beautiful I was sure my jaw actually hit the floor. "You ready?"

"Yeah" I looked down at my outfit, "Is this dress ok?"

"It's fine." If she didn't know that by my smile I'd have to show her just how much I did like it. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you, let me get my shoes, come on in." I ran into my room coming back in flat
strappy sandles so I wasn't taller than him.

"This is date number two right?" I smiled watching her walk closer towards me as I stood in the doorway.

"Two or 3 I think we're on the fence on that why?"

"Just curious." My lips instantly turned into a smirk. "I'll kiss on the second."

"I hope so that mouth of yours should be given a license."

"And why would you say that?"

"I've seen it, the smirk you have is somewhat deadly."

"Then maybe you'll get lucky and get a kiss tonight."

I turned to her before going back out the door. "But I don't make any promises."

"Thats fine I'll just stare at your butt then." She laughed

When she said that I couldn't help but do my little strut making sure she got a clear view while walking out the door.

"Watch it show off, I might touch."

"You aren't very good at threats if that was one." I laughed.

I looked at him with a smile, "Its so odd, its like I want to be normal and me which is
typically flirty and I love to touch but right now I'm also scared to be me."

"Why are you scared to be you? "

"Because we're both kind of new at this being divoced thing and I'm not sure where your head is on us dating if you're ready for it for real or if you want to go through the
motions."

"As far as dating goes I'm not sure to be honest. I mean I know that I need to start doing again because she's not gonna come back to me. And I'm the kind of guy that needs somebody."

"You know that about yourself?"

"I've been told that before."

"I think that's very important to know, I really believe that in order to succeed in a relationship you have to know yourself."

"It helps I guess."

"What else do you know about yourself?"

"That I get grumpy when I don't have sex for a few months."

Nodding and smiling, "Really and how did you find that out?"

"I got divorced."

"I miss sex that's fun." I smiled and then looked to Robin when she didn't agree, "Damn did he force that on you to?"

"Oh half the time I didn't get sex cos I wasn't primped enough, when we did have sex he was a very greedy lover."

"So basically as long as he got off that was it."

"And if he got to chew on my nipples all the better."

I stopped dead in my tracks only to look at her with pure shock. "Okay now I've never done that."'

"That's actually not a bad feeling." I smirked shy to admit that.

"I'll have to remember that." I leaned over whispering into her ear. "I prefer to suck on them myself."

"You know I've been known to enjoy that as well."

"Good to know."

"alright since we're revealing things about me, whats your hidden turn on?"

"A naked woman?"

"on your body?" I clarified.

"No just seeing one does it for me."

"Are you purposely being obtuse or is this just you?"

"Possibly."

"Jon this really isn't cute you know." I told him a little annoyed.

"You don't think so?" I scrunched up my nose as we walked out the front of the hotel. "I like to think I am cute."

"You thought you were cute when you were younger too."

"And you'd know that how may I ask?"

"Because I knew you once apon a time."

"So did half the world Robin."

"What was your first single Jon?" I asked him, no time like the present to throw that out there.

"Runaway, why?"

"Yeah and you loved the video oh so much right."

"Hated that damn video." I shuttered at the thought of it in it's entiretly.

"Never again will I have one done like that again."

"Yeah especially cos you had to deal with a what was it, pimple faced overweight 16yr old producers daughter. Wasn't that it?"

"Umm maybe." I stopped just a few feet short of the museum wondering how this woman even knew that. "But in my defense she was flirting with me and I wasn't interested because she was to young."

"She's me Jon. I'm the girl from your video and I was 18 then not 16."

"Yeah right." I look at her body laughing because no way is this that girl.
"You're funny you know that.

"Why in the world would I want to claim being that pimple faced overweight girl if that wasn't me. My father shot that video and then bailed with the money you paid them."
"Let me say that you've turned into a beautiful woman."

"thank you."

"So have you not seen your dad since then?"

"OH no I've seen him a few times but our relationship pretty much stopped there."

"So you've basically been screwed over by men most of your life?"

I looked at him just realizing it, "Yeah I guess you could say that. Kind of sucks I honestly think Jon I've only got one more attempt left in me, I'm seriously running short on something to believe in."

"Well I can tell you that my last relationship lasted almost 14 years if that helps you any. For the most part I'm a dedicated guy."

"I guess my question though is are you able to see yourself in another relationship,or did she hurt you too bad."

"I do eventually."

"How far eventually Jon, because if I get involved I tend to get involved completely. I've never been a dater, serial monogamist that's me."

"Look I've been divorced for almost two months legally and separated for about nine. I can't give you a definite date."

"I'll keep that in mind." Disappointed yet again that something that might be good for me was again out of reach.

"Hey I didn't mean to upset you. I guess theres a part of me thats scared of having my heart broken again."

"I get that Jon, I'm there with you and I'm scared of getting hit or belittled or abused but sometimes you just have to leap and hope like hell theres a soft landing."

"I can promise you that I'll never hit you but can you promise me that you'd never leave?"

"Damn Jon thats a hard one, I barely know you, I can tell you I'm not a runner."

"So you see my problem then? I mean I know that I can without a doubt tell you that I'd never raise my hand to you or any other woman."

"Yeah but how do I know you don't have other bad qualities, I've heard rumors that fidelity wasn't required in your marriage, I won't stand for that."

"What you hear and what's actually going on is two different stories."

As we walked through the shell museum looking at shells I asked him. "So tell me the truth."

"I wasn't a saint I'll admit that but it's not because she said that it was okay. After it happened I talked to her when I got home. She wasn't happy to say the least but I wanted to be honest with her because I didn't want her to hear it from somebody else."

"How many times did it happen that she forgave you Jon?"

"Two times."

"That's two times more than I'd accept Jon. Would you accept it your woman slept with someone else?"

"Well no but that's entirely different. That just comes with the territory Robin, I can't tell you how many women I turned down versus the ones I took up on their offers."

My eyes flew open at that and I turned to look at him. "I can't believe you would even tell me double standards are ok."

"That's always the way it has been and besides that you flirted with me when you knew I was with somebody."

"I was a kid then. Now that I'm an adult and been subjected to a life of double standards they are not acceptable to me."

"Okay so if we were dating..... I come home and tell you that this girl came backstage and gave me head, is that considered cheating?"

"Yes"

"How? We didn't even have sex."

"Oral sex is sex Jon, your dick anywhere but in or around me would be considered cheating in my world. You're not a 20 yr old fresh rockstar anymore, you're on what your 5th album your old pros at this now. A groupie should not mean more than love."

"And they don't which is why I don't have sex with them."

"So while you're gone, I have a guy I make out with that fingers me and eats me is that ok?"

"Hell no it's not!"

"Then why's it ok for you?"

I just shrugged my shoulders because I'd never really thought about it like that. At that point I realized exactly what a saint Dorothea was all those years.

I didn't want to push this hypothetical conversation farther than it was needed at
this point. He's said his peace he's not into a relationship yet so tonight was to be just a casual night. "Look at this huge shell."

"Yeah it's nice."

"I'm sorry Jon that I got in your face again, thats just one of those trigger points I haven't learned to control yet."

"No it's not that, you just made me think about some things and how I've treated her over the years."

"Is that making you more angry or less about the divorce?""

"I think I'm more mad at myself than anything. How could I do that to her?"

"What did you do?"

"Sleeping with groupies and getting head because I told her I needed some kind of release when she wasn't around - she told me that it was okay but it wasn't. How could I be such an ass?"

"Your male. Its in your genes to feel superior."